The Installation

It seems to me that the only way to keep with the natural progression of things would be to write about the apartment that I am staying in over the summer. However, I have decided instead to write about my work here in Karlsruhe.

As I have mentioned before, I am assisting with the conducting of research at the Institute for Water and River Basin Management which is housed within the Department of Aquatic Environmental Engineering at the University of Karlsruhe (TH). Today was my first real day of work, not having done much yesterday seeing as the banking adventure took up much of the day. I think I am going to really enjoy my summer working at the institute, or the "Installation" as I have picked up calling it. This place is ridiculous! The building itself is a five or six story building (with our work being done on the third) with nothing but hallways full of lab-rooms and offices. The place actually feels more like something the military might run (hence my nickname of "Installation") being complete with security doors every twenty yards or so, hidden conference rooms, and fortified bathrooms. That's right, fortified bathrooms.

You see, the restrooms in this building are not to be taken lightly. Not only does the outer door to the entire restroom lock, but so does the door that separates that toilet area from the sinks. From there, one can also lock AND dead-bolt (yes, dead-bolt) the door to the separate room (as in a completely sealed room, not just a mere stall) that houses each individual toilet. These were restrooms clearly built for those people who meant serious business (a certain speech made by a national chair involving the phrase "discharge your duties" comes to mind). All I'm saying is that more places need more restrooms like these. The only thing missing was a minibar.

Anyway, after being issued my lab-coat and receiving the keys to my office (that I share with one other intern, but still, it's a sweet office), I was taken to meet the director of the institute, a certain Dr. Müller (his name has been changed to protect his identity and my life). This led to the most embarrassing moment of my trip to date. It was apparent immediately that Dr. Müller was the man in charge (the HMFIC, one might say) of the situation by his dress and manner. He had a weak handshake, ascribing to my theory that the more despotic one becomes the weaker their handshake (I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere). The man spoke perfect english, but he asked if I spoke any German. I told him that I spoke a little, at least that's what I said. It seems, because I replied in German, what the good professor heard was "Well yes, I have been speaking German sense before your great-grandfather was born, so please, treat me as an expert". Hearing this, he then entered into a string of very fast, very complicated sounding German. After I widened me eyes to the point that my eye-brows disappeared, he stopped to translate what he had said, and it turned out to mean "Welcome to Germany, I hope all has gone well so far". Yeah, I was impressed with myself, too.

After meeting Dr. Müller, the real work began. I have to tell you, as fun as it was to be walking around wearing a lab-coat and looking all official with an office and everything, it was very hard to get anything done with a hoard of people running around similarly dressed, muttering in German, in what clearly was a military installation dedicated to the development of chemical weapons. It was all I could do to keep myself from laughing every time someone stepped into the hallway calling for some person or another.

Naturally the first experiment that I conducted was a complete failure and had to be thrown away. This was much to the confusion of my host student, who had just done the same experiment a million times without any trouble. I didn't tell her that every time she stopped looking I took a spit in the nearest beaker.

Well, I am off to find some dinner. I told myself after eating Leberwurst on rye-bread for dinner yesterday that I would actually gather the courage and dine out tonight. I pray that I don't end up having to just point to the menu and hope they don't bring me something like blood sausage. Wish me luck.